Welcome to Reality
by AmyCalhoun
Summary: After the birth of their second child Phoebe life couldn't be better for Ana and Christian. However the time comes for Ana to return to Grey Publishing. Will she be able to cope? How will her return effect the dynamics of their new family? (This is not and never will be a cheat story! I wouldn't waste my time writing about something that can destroy a marriage.)
1. Chapter 1

The alarm buzzed on the nightstand next to me. The sound was a welcome relief as I knew I could finally escape the sleepless night that I'd just been through. It was 6:30am and if I was going to make it into work on time on my first day back, I had to get a move on. I reluctantly swung my legs out of bed and sat up. Oh how I wished I could stay in bed for just a while longer. I looked over my shoulder at Christian sleeping soundlessly. He hardly gets enough rest as it is and I wasn't about to be the one to disturb him. As I stood I peeked into Phoebe's crib and admired the sweet, angelic face of my baby girl. She had brought so much happiness into mine and Christian's lives and I began to question as to whether I could really do this.

I padded silently into the bathroom as a yawn broke through my lips. I turned the light on, pushed the door too behind me and gazed into the mirror. What greeted me was a groggy looking, sleep deprived Ana who really didn't know if this was the right time to be contemplating her future at Grey Publishing. The dark circles surrounding my eyes mirrored my internal feeling of exhaustion that the sleepless night had left me feeling. Could I really do this? Was this the right time to go back to reality? Part of me answered yes saying this is the kick I needed and that I could be a successful working mother. Whilst the other part of me answered no and threw back thoughts of snuggling by the fire all day with baby Phoebe in my arms. Recently that is what I knew best, looking after my baby girl day in day out was what a yearned for and things were never boring with Teddy around. I smiled at the memories of having so much time to myself with my darling children.

As I continued to gaze into the mirror I heard a soft cooing coming from Phoebe's crib and in my haste the reach her I dragged a brush through my knotted hair to at least make some progress with my morning routine. As I walked into the bedroom I was greeted by my sex god of a husband soothing little Phoebe in his arms. The scene pleased me and I paused a moment to drink it in before continuing over to Christian who was now sat on the bed.

He looked up at me and his grey eyes met mine "Good morning beautiful" he said with a smile on his face.

I sat with him and snuggled close to get close to Phoebe also "You should be sleeping" I murmured, never taking my eyes off Phoebe, "You work such long hours, I could have seen to her."

A frown fell across my face as I wished I could have prevented his awakening. Soft lips then kissed the 'V' between my eyebrows and my frown disappeared. Christian lifted my face up to his and caressed my lips with a welcome and loving kiss. He drew back and looked meaningfully into my eyes.

"Don't you worry about me; I've got to look after the two most important ladies in my life." He said, Phoebe cooed and smiled in appreciation, "And you Mrs Grey have an important day ahead of you. So why don't you let me look after this little bundle of joy whilst you get ready?"

A smile spread across his lips and I knew he was longing for the chance for some quality time with his daughter.

"Okay" I agreed and smiled back at him.

I surprised Christian with a kiss that enveloped love and passion before giving Phoebe a peck on the cheek and making my way back to the bathroom. As I reached the door I paused and looked back into the bedroom, once again admiring the scene that played out before me.

"I love you Christian" I called back and he returned the sentiment immediately, "I love you too Mrs Grey"

This time as I looked into the mirror feelings of confidence and joy filled me and I smiled to myself knowing that I could this. More importantly I felt ready to do this.

I began with a hot shower hoping that it could energize me and replace the hours of missed sleep from the night before. The cascading water was warm and welcoming and helped to eradicate my nerves and fears about returning to Grey Publishing. I wasn't too sure as to why I was so nervous; I mean the business was mine for Christ sake but I knew that today would be a tough adjustment day but it was also something that I had to do sooner or later.

After my shower I wrapped myself in a towel and began to tame the knots that had formed in my long brown hair. I then blow dried, styled and restyled it until I was content and then moved to the walk-in wardrobe to pick out something to wear. It then dawned on me that I wasn't sure as to what impression I wanted to make on my first day back. The strong, confident mother who was finding the return to work a breeze? I was confident, but not that confident. But on the other hand I didn't want to turn up and face my employees looking like I'd returned too early and didn't know how to handle it all. I settled for a plain navy blue dress that fell just short of my knees and matched it with my favourite silver pendant necklace that Christian had bought me on our anniversary trip to Paris and some simple navy 4" heels. I finished the look off with some light make-up and I was done. I looked into the full length mirror that was on the back of the walk-in wardrobe door and ensured that this was what I would be comfortable in, both physically and mentally. I quickly concluded it was and made my way back into the bedroom where Phoebe was back in her crib whilst, I assumed, Christian was downstairs grabbing some food.

I lifted Phoebe out of her crib and into my arms and took a seat in the rocking chair in the corner of our room. As I stared down into her beautiful eyes I became sad as all my fears and worries about leaving her flooded back through me. She had never been a day without me until now. Of course she had been held and looked after by many different members of the family by doubt still filled the pit in my stomach as to whether she would be okay without me. My brain told me that she would be fine with Gail whilst Christian and myself were at work, Gail had done it once before with Teddy. However, this didn't help to resolve my worries.

At that moment Christian returned into the room and walked over to me and Phoebe. He must have sensed my sadness as he promptly knelt before me and looked seriously into my eyes.

"Are you okay baby?" he asked, the tone of his voice mirroring the concern on his face.

A thought for a second and replied, "I guess so, I just don't know how I feel about leaving Phoebe for the first time. I've been worrying all morning as to whether she will be okay without me and I don't know if I can actually bring myself to leave her." Christian listened carefully and contemplated my words.

"Ana, honey, Phoebe will be just fine here with Gail, you know that really otherwise you would have never gone back to work after having Teddy," he replied softly "And you're going to be brilliant and fit right back in at work and it will be as if you never left." A genuine smile spread across his face and I slowly smiled back as I drank I his words.

Before I could reply, he continued "You're the most amazing person I have ever met Ana and I sincerely know that you will be okay. I love you so much and if there is any point today that you want to talk just ring me, and I mean at any time at all."

He rose swiftly and carefully leaned over Phoebe, who was now resting contently in my arms, to then caress my cheek and give me a passionate kiss, "I believe in you baby" he said cheerfully.

I looked down once more at my precious daughter in my arms and then looked back at Christian.

"I love you. Thank you so much, you're perfect." I said and I smiled to myself as it hit me for the first time that I could actually do this.


	2. Chapter 2

_**To my readers: just a heads up! I'm very grateful for all the support I received on my first chapter and I am looking forward to writing lots more, however, I am currently studying my second year of A-levels therefore the wait for new chapters may be delayed sometimes as I am very busy! I will try to update as often as possible – happy reading! **_

By 8:30am I'm out the door and on the road to work. Sawyer is driving and not being too talkative as usual. I don't see that as a bad thing. It's one of the reasons I like Sawyer; he never talks too much or pry's for information, he's just always there if I need him. As we fly along the highway my thoughts turn to the day ahead. I wonder how people will treat me. I hope they don't act too differently, that will make things so much worse. I have no idea why I'm so nervous, I was fine when I returned after having Teddy. In fact, I was looking forward to getting back in the routine of things back then. I feel the car slow to a crawl and look up to see that we have hit traffic. I sigh inwardly and take the opportunity to check my inbox. I pull out my blackberry and scroll to the email icon which has now accumulated over one hundred emails since I last looked at it. To be honest I can't even remember when that was. I click the app open and begin to scroll down. Most of it is junk and I immediately hit delete although a few catch my eye as important and I ensure I don't accidently delete those, which would not be a good start to my day. As I continue scrolling my blackberry buzzes and flashes as a new email lands in my inbox. I look at the sender, it's Christian.

'_Ana,_

_You are my world, my love, my life._

_Never forget how amazing you are and all of the great work you have done at Grey Publishing so far. I wish you all my luck with your first day back and hope you do not worry too much about home. _

_I can't wait to see you this evening; I have a treat in store._

_Your loving husband,_

_C x'_

The email instantly puts a smile on my face and once again my mood is lifted to a new high. I send a quick reply and pop my blackberry back in my bag just in time as we pull up outside Grey Publishing. Before I get out of the car I gaze up at the building through the window. Was it always that tall? How can I possibly be in charge of everyone who is in side? I force myself to shake my nerves and thinking of Christian's email helps.

"Thanks Sawyer, I should be done by six." I say quickly as I gather my things, trying not to show the nerves in my voice.

"No problem Mrs Grey, I will see you then." He replies with a smile.

I open the door and get out the car as gracefully as I can manage without dropping all my belongings over the pavement. I straighten my dress, take a deep breath and head for the revolving doors. _I can do this, I can do this,_ I repeat the mantra to myself. Once inside I give myself a second to adjust. Things haven't really changed, there's still a busy hum about the place and Leanne still sits happily on the reception desk. I head for the lifts across the lobby area. My heels click against the marble floor and I make sure I walk with confidence and pride. I've decided nothing is going to stop me. As I walk past the reception desk Leanne looks up at me with a smile on her face.

"Good morning Mrs Grey. It's lovely to see you back, Hannah is waiting upstairs for you and will get you anything you need." She says cheerfully.

"Thank you Leanne, it's good to see you too." I reply and continue making my way to the lift.

Once inside I press the button for the 10th floor and wait patiently. I'm glad Leanne greeted me, especially like nothing had changed. But then I guess it hasn't, I've just been out of the loop for a while. The lift slowly climbs higher and higher, I don't remember it taking this long before. It pauses at the 4th floor and a young blonde gets in. I don't recognise her and it puts me on edge. She smiles sweetly and stands silently as the lift doors close and it continues to rise. I begin to feel hot and claustrophobic, I remind myself to keep breathing and relax. To my relief the lift pauses once again at the 8th floor, the blonde leaves and I am alone again. Finally, the lift reaches the 10th floor and I make my way down the single corridor past the small admin desk to my office. Hannah suddenly emerges from the office next to mine, it's as if she sensed me coming, or on the other hand Leanne could have buzzed and told her I was on my way up. I decide to stick with the latter explanation. As I meet her gaze I smile.

"Hi Hannah, it's good to see you, how have things been?" I say as I make my way into my office. Hannah shadows behind me, notepad and pen in hand. I take of my coat, hang it up and place my things on my desk.

"Good morning Mrs Grey, it's good to see you also. Things have been fine, running like clockwork." She responds with a genuine smile. "Do you need anything?" she asks.

"Not right now Hannah, thank you." I reply.

As she leaves the room I sit down at my desk and wonder where to begin. I start by turning on my computer; it takes a while to warm up seeing as it's been off for so long. As it warms up I look through the pile of paperwork sitting in my 'IN' tray in the corner of my desk. It's not as big as I thought it would be, maybe Hannah has sifted through some whilst I was away. However, I'm grateful as the pile looks manageable. I feel comfortable in my office and not so nervous, I guess it's just walking around the building with everyone looking at me that puts me on edge. I take the first document from the pile and begin to read. It's a young author's book which is about a young couple swept away in an everlasting romance. Her words not mine. As I continue to read I remember why I always wanted to work in a publishing house, and it lifts my mood.

At lunch time Hannah asks if there is anything she can run out and get me. I remember I didn't have any breakfast and when I actually think about it I am quite hungry. I ask for a ham and feta flatbread from my favourite sandwich place down the street. Whist she is gone I take the opportunity to have a little break and I decide to email Christian to let him know how things are going.

'_Christian,_

_Thank you for all you support this morning, things are going better and easier than expected._

_I can't wait to see you and the children this evening._

_A x'_

There is an instant reply as my inbox pings in response.

'_Ana,_

_I'm so glad you are finding your feet, it makes me very happy. _

_I can't wait to see you either._

_Love _

_C x'_

The email makes me happy and I wonder to myself how I have managed to get such a caring and loving husband. As I contemplate this whilst still staring at his email Hannah walks in with my lunch.

"There you go Ana, one ham and feta flatbread. Anything else I can get you?" she says sweetly.

"Thank you Hannah, no that will be all." I reply as I begin to unwarp my lunch.

The aroma fills the room and it smells delicious, my stomach rumbles in response urging me to eat quicker. After about three bites I put the sandwich down. It somehow doesn't seem as good anymore and even the sight of it makes me feel nauseous. I push it to the side and finish my mouthful, only to realise that I do physically feel nauseous. I jump up from my desk, run out of my office and into the bathroom down the corridor. I slam the cubical door shut behind me and I'm instantly on my knees retching. The nausea doesn't go away and I notice the chronic headache that has suddenly formed. I begin to feel hot, sweaty and slightly dizzy. I really don't feel good. As I kneel over the toilet I think as to what could have caused this, my lunch? I hope not, I really don't want food poisoning right now. When the nausea begins to disappear I opt for sitting on the toilet with the lid down and my head in hands. What the hell is wrong with me?


	3. Chapter 3

I followed my bout of nausea at lunch time with a series of painkillers and bottled water only. The pain killers helped soothe my head and there was no way that I was going to try eating anything again, so bottled water it was.

By six I'm out of the office and on my way to meet Sawyer out front. I'm relieved the day was over and to be honest I'm just looking forward to going home to Christian and the children. As I left the building I looked up to see Sawyer waiting in the pavement next to the car. I smile pleasantly and as I do Sawyer opens the back door to let me in. I make myself comfortable as Sawyer pulls out into the constant stream of cars that would soon become major rush hour traffic. I look out of the window and let my mind wander over the events of the day. Things were going well until lunch time and then everything began to spiral downwards. After my nausea even the thought of food made me want to throw up. Was I being paranoid? Overall I'd felt quite calm and collected throughout the day and things went better than I had expected. I questioned as to whether I could keep this up, it was only the first day. I decided not to ponder the thought as it would only bring down my mood and I didn't want that for when I got home to Christian.

The thought of returning home to Christian was uplifting and I began to realise how much I'd actually missed him throughout the day. I've experienced that before though, getting so caught up in my work that I detach and forget the feelings of missing home. I remember his email from this morning's trip to work and in particular the fact that he said he had a treat in store. I mentally pray that it isn't a planned dinner as I really don't think my stomach can live up to that right now.

We arrive home in good time and the second in through the door I have a two year old hurling himself at me desperate for 'Mummy cuddles'.

"Mummmmmmmy! You home now! Teddy miss Mummy!" He shouts at the top of his voice with glee.

I pick him up under his arms just as he reaches me and place him on my hip.

"Hey there big boy, mummy missed Teddy too!" I say with a grin on my face, I have certainly missed this little monkey today.

I give him a kiss on the forehead and he giggles with delight before snuggling into my shoulder for a hug. I walk with him on my hip around the house in search of Christian and Gail. I'm sure Gail was not far behind Teddy on his mission to get to me. Teddy has lifted my mood further and I decide to turn the searching into a game, knowing that Teddy will know where Christian is.

"Teddy let's play a game," I say with excitement in my voice, "Now, the first person to find Daddy is the winner okay?" I whisper and place him down on the floor. A cheeky grin spreads across his face and it is so infectious.

"Ready.." I mock the starting position that athlete's take at a race, "One.. two.. three!" I announce.

Before the word 'three' is even out of my mouth Teddy is off toddling off in the direction that I assume Christian is in. I follow behind at a leisurely walking pace, not wanting to spoil his game. He heads for the downstairs play room, probably where he was before I arrived home. He's through the door like a shot but I don't hear a victory cry. I pick up the pace and make it through the door seconds after him only to slam right into Christian who seems to have appeared out of nowhere. He grabs my upper arms to steady me and out of the corner of my eye I see Teddy on the floor playing with his trains, the game a distant idea now consumed by the thought of playtime. I look up at Christian, a faint smile playing on my lips.

"Hey there gorgeous." He says with a grin to match my own and before I can respond his lips are on mine.

It's a strong, passion filled kiss that says I've missed you. I give myself over to him and let his tongue explore mine. I've missed him too, so much and right now I'm beyond glad to be back in his arms. He holds me close with one arm around my waist and the other on the side of my face, caressing me gently. I let the events of the day wash away as we share an intimate moment and I already feel so much more at ease. He pulls back and stares longingly and lovingly into my eyes and we smile together.

"I've missed you." I say, expressing my feelings in words.

"I know baby, I've missed you too." He responds and we smile together.

Our hello was followed by a quick dinner, nothing heavy, just a chicken ceaser salad of which I was glad as I only managed a few pieces of chicken before having to stop. I then I spent a good hour with my Phoebe, just holding her and making up for lost time. Gail had mentioned that she was perfectly fine throughout the day and this had filled me with confidence to return to work.

Before I knew it Christian was leading me upstairs, my hand in his, as it was 'us' time. Feelings of happiness filled me as climbed the stairs behind him knowing that I could just relax with him and do what we do best. We reach our bedroom door on the second floor landing and I am already intrigued as it is shut, we usually leave it open. A smile creeps across my face as I wonder what his plan is. This is why I love this man. He never fails to amaze me with all the wonderful things he comes up with to bring us closer and closer. I will always trust him, with my life, body and soul. We pause outside the door and Christian turns to me, the excitement rolling off him in waves.

"Wait out here for just one more minute, I need to put some finishing touches in place." He whispers quietly as he comes in close as if he's going to kiss me.

I reach up to try and meet his lips in agreement to his statement but he beats me to if with a peck on the forehead and he is already in the room. He pushes the door too behind him and I know better than not to try and listen, but I just can't help myself. The anticipation consumes me and I turn my head so my ear covers the gap between the door and its frame. To my disappointment I can't really hear much, just him padding around the bedroom, moving a few things and then I hear the light switch click off. I move my ear away quickly, not wanting to be caught trying to work out what he has planned. Just as I do he appears at the door, shirt off, hair casually tousled and grey sweat pants hanging in that oh so sexy way from his hips. I take a second to admire him, I will never get used to this being mine. Instinctively I reach out towards him and his hand meets mine. He guides me into the dimmed room and as I look around I realise it is only lit by candle light. They smell so good and comforting, like jasmine and fresh linen. My eyes switch to the bed to see our duvet gone and a pile of cosy pillows and cushions at one end, pastel pink sheets covering the bed and a scattering of red rose petals on top. He's done it once again and with so much ease, set up the most romantic situation all just for me.

I feel Christian's presence behind me. He moves my hair over to one shoulder, exposing my upper back and his fingers begin to make feather light trails across it.

He brings his mouth close to my right ear "I noticed how tense and worried you were this morning before going to work, and I wanted to do something to help that." His voice is like sweet honey in my ear. I close my eyes and take it all in.

"I want you to relax Ana, just listen to me and not worry about anything," He continues "I want all your focus on me and my touch. This is all for you baby because you deserve it."


	4. Chapter 4

_**To my readers, biggest apology regarding the update time! I have been beyond busy lately and haven't had time to sit down and write. Sad times! But I am back! Happy reading, reviews welcome as always, enjoy. **_

How can he be so seductive when he's only said two sentences?! A soft moan escapes my lips as I begin to relax and do what he says. My head rolls back onto his shoulder and I become a bundle of sense and feeling, I'll do anything for this man. He moves back to tracing patterns on my upper back until he finds the zip at the top of my dress. With ease he pulls it down slowly revealing more and more of my body. When it is all the way down he lets go and the dress falls to the floor, a pool of fabric around my feet. He takes my hand; I step out of my dress, kick my shoes off and turn to him.

I look at him and smile to myself as he looks me over, drinking me in. It fuels something inside of him, I can see it in his eyes. His whole self-changes, in what way I don't know how, but it's not how it used to be. His alter ego doesn't take over anymore. Instead I get a mix, a mix of Christian my husband who loves me and cherishes me, and then a mix of his alter ego thrown in, the alter ego that wants me now and doesn't care how. I like both versions and I'm glad I get a mix, it's perfect.

His eyes meet mine again and a trace of a smile forms on his lips. I know he approves of my lingerie choice and I thank god I chose good this morning. He reaches his hand out, experimenting, and runs his finger along the top of the pale gold satin material that forms my bra. He does in such a way that only the very tip of his finger touches my skin, but it's enough, my heart beats double time and spikes of pleasure run through me.

"You look divine in this lingerie Anastasia, but I think it will look better on the bedroom floor, don't you agree?" he asks innocently. He continues to look at me and I realise it wasn't a rhetorical question.

My breath hitches as I try to form words, but it's just not working, so I simply nod instead. He smiles and steps closer until we're nose to nose. Keeping is nose steady on mine whilst looking me dead in the eye his expert hands move from the front of my bra to the back with the target being the clasp. I ache for his touch but he knows me too well and ensures that his fingers stay on the satin and not my skin. He's teasing me. In one swift movement he undoes the clasp and my bra falls to the floor. With no hesitation he eagerly moves to my pants and quickly pulls them down my legs and I step out of them.

I stand there, holding my naked body proud before him and offering myself to him all at once. He quickly disposes of his sweats and remains in his boxers. I can't help but look, my eyes are like magnets. They quickly dart to the growing bulge at his groin and a playful smile lingers on my lips at the thought that I can do such a thing to him without even touching him.

"Lay on the bed Ana, face down." He says smoothly. The authority's there, the command so easy to his lips.

I'm already walking towards the large bed without even thinking twice. Even though he's not my Dom, and I'm not his Sub, I know not to question him. I trust him, that's all that matters. I reach the bed and crawl onto it on all fours into the centre. I take my time and make an effort to make my movements slow and sexy in front of his watching eyes. Once in the centre I lie as instructed and wait.

I hear him padding softly around the room and my curiosity spikes as I hear certain draws open and close. I don't dare to look over to see what he is doing, that would spoil all the fun. Minutes pass but they stretch like hours and impatience spawns from deep inside me. Like a mind reader he appears at the side of the bed and I see the tops of his legs in my line of view. He kneels onto the bed and makes his way to the centre at the side of my body.

"Enjoy this Ana, just feel my touch and relax. I love you." He says.

I try to grumble an 'I love you' in return but my words are garbled as I'm already lost by the sound of his voice. I close my eyes and let my senses take over. I feel his weight shift as he puts a knee either side of me, hovering over me just below my bum. I hear the sound of a plastic lid on a bottle, open then close and then fall to the bed beside me. The smell hits me first; sweet jasmine. I breathe deep and let it fill me, it instantly relaxes me. His hands then glide from my shoulders to the base of my spine with ease, the oil leaving a sleek trail behind. His hands glide back up applying pressure and all the muscles in my back let go.

"Mmmm" I say aloud, it's all I can manage, the feeling is exquisite.

"Hush baby" he replies softly.

His hands begin a pattern. First at my shoulders, down my spine, to the left of my spine, then to the right and finally to the base of my spine and top of my bum. I lose myself in the rhythmic pattern, forgetting everything. He shifts suddenly so he is at my side, no longer hovering over me. He quickly applies more oil to his hands and goes back to massaging the base of my spine. He forms small circles with each hand over and over, coaxing the blood in my muscles to circulate faster. He moves to my bum cheeks, kneading one at a time and he's got my attention now. I feel the pull in my pelvis, my hips start to move automatically to the rhythm and soft moans escape my lips. His hands quickly move to the backs of my thighs and my breath hitches as he separates my legs slightly.

His hands glide with ease over the inside of my thighs and the pull from within my pelvis grows stronger. Every inch of my skin is alert, trying to guess where his hands will go next but he gives nothing away. He moves back to the top of my bum. Suddenly, a single finger runs between my cheeks and down onto my anus where he stops. A gasp escapes my lips as he creates small circles there, no higher or lower, just there.

"Hush Ana, feel it" he says strongly, the arousal clear in his voice.

His finger remains in place, repeating the same circles. His other hand is suddenly then at the entrance to my sex. His finger slides delicately from my sex to my clitoris and back again. The wetness between my legs becomes apparent and he repeats the pattern over and over. I'm a ball of feeling, trying to keep track of both of his hands. Too many things run through my head, hundreds of nerves responding to his touch. I no longer feel relaxed and I don't know why. His left hand carries on the pattern over my anus whilst his right pauses over the entrance to my sex and I know what's coming. With ease and grace he slowly inserts a single finger. In and out at a slow pace.

And I just can't. It's as simple as that. My eyes begin to well up and my mind becomes confused, why am I feeling hesitation?

"Stop.. Christian stop." I choke out.

He stops instantly and before I'm even aware of my actions I'm lifting myself of the bed. Tears escape my eyes and I stumble off of the bed.

"Ana?!" Christian says, his voice is laced with confusion and panic. "What did I do?" he kneels on the bed and looks on as I make my way to the bathroom half running, half walking.

All I know is that need to escape, but what am I running from? I love that man, but my legs continue double time, ignoring my thoughts.

"Ana, answer me!" Christian says, his voice louder filled with the sense of urgency.

I can't form a response; I don't even know why this is happening or why I am feeling this. In my peripheral vision I see him get off the bed and head towards me, but he's too late. I reach the bathroom, slam the door shut behind me in his face and collapse to the floor with my back to it. I bring my knees to my chest and begin to sob uncontrollably into my arms which rest on my knees. I feel the door knob turning frantically, begging for release, as Christian pounds on the door shouting my name. I feel claustrophobic. I feel Christian's presence through the door as he makes a desperate attempt to get in or get a response out of me but I give him neither and continue to sob.

I don't know how much time has passed but I feel Christian slump to the floor, mirroring my position on his side of the door, never giving up. I am no longer crying as I have shed all my tears but begin to shake instead. Maybe I'm cold, maybe I'm too weak or maybe it's all just too much. I don't know. I hold my knees against my chest, rest my head upon them and screw my eyes shut blocking everything out, just praying for an escape.


End file.
